Shoulda.. Coulda.. Woulda..

 Picture From my Instagram

Staring at the blank page, thinking.. Did anyone notice that I have not been blogging or post any new pic on Instagram for a while (maybe
I'm not sure whether I should share this on my Blog. But somehow I feel like I should.
The Past weeks have been really rough on me. I know that this day will eventually come and finally it did. I thought that I was well prepared for it, but I was wrong.
So yea, last Monday my Boyfriend got a Job offer in Shanghai - for two years - Its confirmed. He will leave on this December!! *So Soon!!*
Everything happened so fast and I didn't know how to react. The first thing came out of me was my tears. Seriously I know that this is coming, but December is way too soon!!!  That Monday was a very emotional day for both of us. We hugged long time in the unbroken silence... None of us slept well on that night. I marked 6th of October as one of  my unhappy day.
We had a discussion the next day. On what will happen next? But nothing is confirm yet as of now.

Two options for now:

1.To follow him to Shanghai
-Need to find myself a Job there
-To get a working permit so that I can stay
-As he cannot just bring me as his GF. Only immediate family and spouse can get the residence Visa.

2.To Stay here in Malaysia and moved on
-Must find new apartment
-Long Distance relationship is not going to work among us, so I have to move on - somehow
-Being a single girl again, lonely life. Being Alone is not Easy.

I have been thinking a lot since, must admit that I am not myself at the moment. Too many things are on my mind. Sad, Stress,  Scared.. everything is mixed up! This is really depressing, I think I'm having depression now - can see that new pimples pops up on my face.

Should I Stay in Malaysia or Should I leave everything here and go with him?
Could I adapt the lifestyle in Shanghai If I choose to go there?
Would I make the right decisions?

I don't know.. I don't want to think about it.. But how can I not? This is killing me!!!

It is heartbreaking, I know. Nothing much I can do for now. If its meant to be, It will be.
I just need to Stay Strong! I know I will be ok- maybe. I just need to be positive!
So many things to consider. I just hope that everything will be ok soon. Finger Cross!!

Whatever tomorrow brings I’ll be there with open arms and open eyes.

Sometimes, no matter how much you want for things to happen,
All you can do is wait.
And usually, waiting is the hardest part.


  1. Hi Shereen!

    1st, I love that photo. Such pretty colors!

    2nd, thanks for following me, I followed you back!

    Lastly, I had a similar experience a couple years ago and I cried for days (it turned out to be a false alarm though). Whenever I have problems, I choose to pray.

    Anyway, those are a lot of factors to consider and I hope everything works out!

  2. Hi Shereen!

    1st, I love that photo. Such pretty colors!

    2nd, thanks for following me, I followed you back!

    Lastly, I went through a similar situation a couple years ago and I cried for days! Turned out to be a false alarm though. When I have problems, I like to pray for guidance.

    Those are a lot of factors to consider. I hope everything works out!

  3. O No!!! I am so sorry to hear this. I was wondering where you were. I am glad you are ok.
    It is a difficult place to be in.
    Surround yourself with people that love you not matter the decision you make and some good ice cream and chocolates.
    Stay strong!!
    Es x x x

    1. Thanks Estee.. I will try to think Positive!! Everything happened for a reason..

  4. I followed back! :D
    I think you should make a list about the pros and cons of staying in Malaysia or going to shanghai

    1. Thanks Shalay.. Yes I think I should... :)

  5. don't be so sad! stay happy and what's meant to be will fall into place~ x

  6. Cute nails :)
    xoxo Emina



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